To those who give us wings
When I was 12 years old, I earned the somewhat dubious honour of being lauded for coming last.
It was the 10m swimming badge and it took what seemed like forever — the number of failed attempts, week after week, and the crossing itself.
I hated every cm, thrashing my way across the junior pool, fighting for each breath.
At the next morning assembly to my great surprise, Mrs Lazarus, head of Morgan Hall, commended my perseverance.
The budding cynic in me thought, “Well, it’s not like I had a choice.”
Nonetheless, her sincerity warmed me and I beamed at her on stage. It’s natural to commend winners, but she’d gone out of her way to highlight the positive in finishing last.
It wasn’t the only time Mrs Lazarus was kind to me, and she wasn’t the only teacher to regularly go beyond the call of duty.
When altruism is coupled with ability and personality, it can transform a life and nudge it to a higher path.
Whilst I can only speak from personal experience, I suspect…
Most good schools have an equivalent of:
Mr Davison ran the Radcliffe Rollers, the school’s extra-curricular steel band, as well as the Bees, a junior training band). He worked tirelessly and selflessly to raise finance, book gigs and organise overseas tours. He drove the minibus to gigs, enduring countless hours with us in the back. Legend.
Neil (it took me a loooong time to adjust from calling him ‘Mr D’) and his wife Celia are two of the kindest souls I’ve ever met. I feel truly blessed for knowing them.
Ruth Gapp lived and breathed the art of the violin with her pupils, often holding weekend quartet practice sessions at her house.
She taught me “Technique is the ability to do what the imagination requires,” one of my favourite aphorisms which I’ve applied to business, sport and music, and quote as soon as the conversation even vaguely lends itself to the subject.
Following a 21 year hiatus, I play the piano every morning to set me up for the day.
Mr Carey helped raise the money for a hand made violin when I outgrew the cheap factory one my family could barely afford.
Miss Wortley gave me my first grounding in humility and being considerate when she told me off for commenting on another kid who was several maths books behind me (hey, I was 11…).
She often told me off. I always deserved it.
Mr Andrews directed the school musicals with aplomb and passion, giving many our first alluring taste of the creativity, discipline and coordination required for a stage production.
Mr Pucci’s enthusiasm for languages was incredibly infectious. I can still hear him imploring us to “listen to that ‘-tion’… it oooozes femininity.” I have yet to find a French word ending in ‘tion’ that isn’t feminine.
I’d go on to do a year at university in France, and still watch films and the news in French to maintain my fluency.
Mr Rout had a gift for explaining the most complicated equations, often ending “and an arbitrary constant”. I couldn’t solve a quadratic equation today if my life depended on it, but my maths A-Levels helped secure my place at Manchester.
When I applied to Oxford, he gave me extra 1–2–1 tuition of his own accord (I didn’t get in — a blessing in disguise, as I went up north instead and met Jade).
Every teacher I’ve met as an adult
has a heart of gold and an innate desire to elevate those in their care.
I’m not a qualified psychologist but…
From reading Dr Gabor Mate, Professors Robert Sapolsky and Andrew Huberman (amongst others):
Your genes predispose your personality and character.
The environment your mother was in during pregnancy
+ your childhood experiences,
combine to unleash the potential of those genes
and/or load you with traumas that can take a lifetime to unpack.
Case study
My genes are a mixed bag. From mum’s side, all good I think. Dad is essentially a virtuous man but from what I understand his parents stacked him with a ton of traumas, many of which cascaded onto me.
Foetal programming: Mum had something of a rough time leading up to my birth, enduring a twenty year war only to be told by her inlaws that if I was a girl, dad would have to remarry in order to secure them the grandson they ‘needed’. She didn’t find out my gender until I was born.
Early childhood: The Vietnamese government persecuted Chinese immigrants (my dad) on account of being at war with China, until we were forced to seek asylum in the UK.
Paternal influence: Whilst I eventually made my peace with dad, he was something of a tyrant during my childhood and I hated him. Upon finishing school, I left home and moved to a city 3 hours away.
All this to say…
I turned out the way I did, thanks to my mum and the exceptional teachers who raised me.
They were the childhood environment that counterbalanced everything else.
The bewildered 4 year old who arrived in Milton Keynes speaking not a word of English, managed to win Jade’s hand in marriage, so you definitely did something right.
Because of you, Life is Beautiful.
Thank you
There are many names missing from the below — it has been >3 decades since — but I wanted you all to know,
I’m grateful for what you did and I hope that Lyra will have equally kind and conscientious role models. They say it takes a tribe…
The Radcliffe, Milton Keynes (1987–1993)
Music — Mr Davison, Richard Murphy, Mr Morris
Maths — Mr Rout, Mr Hawkins
French & German — Mr Pucci, Miss Stobbs, Mrs Milner, Mr Charlston, Miss Froggatt
English — Mr Andrews
Science — Mr Bowden, Mrs Rising
PE — Mr Parry, Mr Smart
Head of Morgan Hall — Mrs Lazarus
Deputy Head of 6th Form — Miss Forrester
Deputy Head — Mr Carey
Great Linford County Combined School (1980–1987)
Ms Wortley, Mr Petrie, Miss Punter, Mrs Hanley, Mrs Walker
Stantonbury Music Centre
Ruth, Margaret, Jenny, Valerie, Julian, Graham, Alan, Stephen (End Room Stephen!), David, Nancy
Bucks County Youth Orchestra
Ian, Roy, Helen
